Woke up this morning feeling fine. No headache or fogginess from a day without sugar or chemicals. Now, I just need to do that 29 more times.
I really am feeling so wary of failing at this. The voice in my heart-head keeps reminding me of all the schemes and plans and schedules I have implemented only to quickly cast them aside by forgetting or not caring enough. Maybe this is why I have started this blog, and maybe this is why I named it what I did. I am very good at reminding others to be gentle with themselves, but it seems like I can’t hear my own voice when I say it. So, I’m going to try to be gentle with me as I do this hard thing. No, this is not hard like chemo or divorce or whatever, but changing long-held habits while my body is physically craving my old habits…it’s hard. So, maybe a little verbal pat on the back is in order: Jennifer, you and 48 have planned and prepared loads of nutritious meals for you and your daughter. Good for you for investing time, money, and intention in this food experiment.
Today, I learned: I went to lunch with Daniel, as I do nearly every Tuesday. I honestly almost canceled it because I keep reading that it’s kind of too hard to eat in restaurants during Whole 30, but I knew Daniel would just giggle while I ordered an odd meal after asking one million questions, so I decided to go.
You know when I walk a mile in someone’s shoes, I am always humbled. Today, it was my turn to be the one at the table who was scanning the menu for something I could easily order, not look too crazy with my questions, and actually enjoy eating. A salad was the easy answer…but dressings so often contain sugar or other additives, so I asked about the vinaigrette, and she said she would ask in the kitchen for me. But, it was a really nice burger joint, and I’m having lots of salads at home, so I asked if the burger had a lot of seasonings in it, and in that seasoning mix, might there be sugar (like I found in my Penzy’s Steak Seasoning at home)? She assured me that the seasonings were not mixed into the meat, but added when cooking, so I could have a fabulous hamburger patty with my own shakes of salt. “Oh, and also…do you have a steamed veggie for on the side? One with no sauce or anything on it, not cooked in butter or anything?” She was so patient, and I found my brows furrowing more as I asked each question, shaking my head side to side with apologies dripping from my lips all over the table where my water (not Pepsi) was sitting and sweating – like me.
Dear Friends Who Have to Ask Lots of Questions Just to Keep Yourself Healthy,
I get it now, and I won’t giggle (unless you are). I will not roll my eyes, and I will recognize that even having the eye-roll reaction means I have not walked enough “meals” in your shoes. It means I’m not loving you well. But, I’m learning this month. I promise I’m tucking these lessons in my pocket for days when I need them.
Love, Jennifer (and 48)